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[complete] You. Got. Me. A. WHAT??!!??

Level Seven: Department of Magical Games and Sports, incorporating the British and Irish Quidditch League Headquarters, Official Gobstones Club and Ludicrous Patents Office. The Division of Magical Education, including the Wizarding Examinations Authority

Re: You. Got. Me. A. WHAT??!!??

Postby wednesday » Sat Oct 31, 2015 9:38 am

A deceptively delicious pumpkin spice latte has appeared before you!

Image
Your characters must drink this beverage or their heads will turn into jack-o-lanterns, necessitating a trip to the clinic.

#Halloweenies
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Re: You. Got. Me. A. WHAT??!!??

Postby Eva O'Hanley » Sat Oct 31, 2015 9:45 pm

OK, well, now she was laughing, which made the drunken stagger even more wobbly and unpredictable. "Oh ... Oh, shit," Eva gasped between giggles. "That sucks ... but I bet you kinda liked it ... but still ... sucks." Oh, that was just a classic mental image. The jealous lover trying to get the jump on the casual arm breaker. "Didja break something on him, too? What's the funniest thing you've broken?" All right, well, he had asked a serious question and she needed to calm down her laughter in order to respond to it. With one final snorting chuckle, Eva made a waving gesture to indicate that she understood and that it was no big deal.

"Don't worry," she assured him, "I'll make sure that there's no unpleasantness ... well, physically, at least. Can't promise he'll be thrilled to have you there. Although, he has been kinda worried, what with the whole 'people-jumping-me' thing." And then - shit - there was a latte in her hand and she spilled half of it before fully realizing what had happened. Fortunately, Bakersfield had warned all the Quidditch players about this delightful little BUMM experiment, so Eva knew what to do. She took a long swig of the latte and then offered it to Leif.

"You should drink this even though it's suspicious as hell, or your head will turn into a pumpkin. It's a Ministry thing. I'm late for dinner; I don't have time to go to the clinic with you."
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Re: You. Got. Me. A. WHAT??!!??

Postby Leif Valdemar » Sat Oct 31, 2015 10:00 pm

Leif held on to her even more tightly now, trying to make certain that she didn't topple to the ground. Or, if that was unavoidable, to make her landing as soft as possible. He could see the humour in the story, but it was still a little too fresh for him to laugh. Maybe another couple of weeks. "I broke his leg. Gravity broke his arm, not me." The funniest thing he had ever broken? That was hard to think of. "Probably my father's sword, in the middle of a duel we were having. I think that was one of the biggest incidents of accidental magic I've ever done, but I swung my short sword at him and his just completely shattered, like ice, when they hit. I've never seen him that dumbstruck before or after."

He was slightly relieved by her promise. If she had accepted his presence enough to tell her brother that it was okay, everything should go down mostly smoothly. After all, he doubted she would find bone-breaking half as hilarious if it was her brother on the other end of it. If she liked him, which, given that they presumably lived together, was kind of a given. The sudden appearance of the drink surprised him, and his free hand had drawn his wand to destroy it if need be. And then she drank it. A strange drink, that appeared in mid-air, when she knew that someone was out to get her. He was furious.

Leif opened his mouth to give her a dressing down, or take her to St. Mungo's if need be, when she gave him the drink. "What?" Shit. She was quite clearly going to leave him behind if he didn't drink it, and that would definitely lose him the much needed contract. He sighed, probed the drink for most poisons with his wand, then drank it. "Let it go on record that I thought that was a terrible idea. Any other strange English traditions I am probably unaware of?"
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Re: You. Got. Me. A. WHAT??!!??

Postby Eva O'Hanley » Sat Nov 07, 2015 2:38 pm

Ah, to hell with it. They needed to be quick so that she wasn't too terribly late for Erik, and now that Leif was being less of a dick, Eva kinda liked him. Plus, ever since the arm-breaking thing, he'd been looking pretty damn hot. She looped her arm through his, transferred some of her weight against him, and now her drunken stagger felt much more like floating on clouds. All right, OK, maybe there were some good things about have a fucking obnxious bodyguard following her around.

"Oh God, your poor muggle dad teaching you to swordfight and then getting his sword magically blasted! Did you fix it? I hope you fixed it! If your dad's nice, then you should be nice back." Not like she knew anything about having a nice dad; this was just her pet theory. Granted, her dad had always been pretty nice to her, but she would never forgive him for his treatment of her twin. Especially since he'd never actually be sorry for his treatment of her twin. Fucking asshole.

She wasn't at all surprised by the anger in his eyes when she drank the latte, but at least he did his part. "There's this really annoying bureau of the Ministry and their job is basically to bug the shit out of the rest of us so they make these stupid little pranks and that was one of 'em. It'll be over soon; just an October thing. But now you have to be really nice to me or I'll tell everybody that you drank a suspicious latte." She was mostly joking, and the drunken slurring of her words helped make that point.

Damn, she'd really taken a lot of shots really quickly. The world was more than a little spinny at the moment. "You got brothers, sisters, both?"
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Re: You. Got. Me. A. WHAT??!!??

Postby Leif Valdemar » Sat Nov 07, 2015 8:46 pm

Leif fought a satisfied smile from his face as she relented and let him take some of her weight. Even if it was something trivial, at least she seemed to be vaguely aware that he might have a use or two. Maybe. He laughed softly at the idea of trying to fix Antero's sword. At the time, he would have probably been expelled from Durmstrang for trying that kind of magic outside of school. "No, he'd barely let me touch the shards afterwards. I'm fairly sure he reforged it into a knife."

The British Ministry had some kind of... bureau of pranking? This was why the English no longer had an Empire, how they'd had one to start with was beyond Leif. A government body devoted to mischief, preposterous! "I am supposed to be- polite to you anyway. Nice costs extra, and Bakersfield wasn't willing to pay. Actually, he told me that you would probably make me tear my hair out, so he wasn't going to waste the money." He did smile then, a teasing smirk that he was quite proud of.

"Both. A brother, and two sisters, royal pains in my ass all. We work together. You may be meeting Sophia at some point, when I told her she couldn't be involved with this job she threatened to track you down. What she meant to do after that is beyond me."
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The Berserkers
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Re: You. Got. Me. A. WHAT??!!??

Postby Eva O'Hanley » Fri Nov 13, 2015 6:42 pm

"Huh. Well, at least it lived again. You gotta nice dad though, that's so cool. Ugh. I'm jealous. Anyway." They continued walking, and Eva got it into her head that it might be fun to do some drunken experimentation on his various skill sets. "Oooh, oooh, check this out." Using her core muscles that had to be incredibly strong to keep her on a broom, Eva slowly lifted her legs until they were extended in front of her and her weight was supported entirely by her two arms and Leif's one. "Look! WE'RE LIKE RUSSIAN ACROBATS! Walk, walk, walk!"

Enjoying the ride and the exercise she got from it, Eva scoffed at the mention of Bakersfield. "He's got a major stick up his ass, and you know why? He was Hufflepuff Keeper in the years before I was, and he was supposed to go pro like me, only he's a Seer and he kept having visions in the air and no professional team would take him on. So he's jealous of all the pro players because he got so close but never got to be one."

Now she was lowering her legs back to the ground to continue her drunken stagger, eyes wide. "You all do this? Like, you break people's arms just like that? It's the family business? That ... is so. weird!"
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London
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Re: You. Got. Me. A. WHAT??!!??

Postby Leif Valdemar » Wed Nov 18, 2015 12:20 am

Leif laughed softly. "Yeah. My dad's pretty fucking great." He kind of liked the brief silence. Not because he didn't like hearing her talk, but because it was kind of restful. It had already been a long day, and he had a feeling it was going to get longer yet. His balance took a hit as she lifted herself from the ground with just him as a connection to the ground. Leif was only surprised for a moment, and it took a good dose of common sense to stop him from moving his arm to try and support her more- that would more than likely just make her fall to the ground. He was impressed at her core strength- and had the weirdest urge to feel her definitely-taunt stomach muscles.

"I thought not playing Quidditch meant you didn't have the stick up your arse." He'd thought that was one of the major advantages of not playing Quidditch. Being a Seer, just generally, didn't sound like much fun to Leif. They seemed to get the short end of the stick on most things, quite literally for Bakersfield it seemed. Leif shook his head at her surprised comment. "Just the four kids. My father is in weapons manufacture, and my mother works with potions. The arm breaking is hereditary though."
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London
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Re: You. Got. Me. A. WHAT??!!??

Postby Eva O'Hanley » Fri Nov 20, 2015 3:32 am

Eva let out something of an envious sigh. It would be cool to have parents who weren't complete assholes. Or, at least, she imagined it would be cool. It wasn't as though she had any experience to go on, being the daughter of abusive, bigoted purebloods. God, how she hated them and everything they stood for.

She couldn't help but snicker at his comment about Quidditch players. Yeah, it had been funny, and she was plenty drunk enough not to take offense at it. Especially given the whole sexy-arm-breaking thing. That moment just kept replaying in her head. "That would seem to make sense in theory," Eva replied, her words slurring together, "but it turns out that being on a broom so much just makes you immune to other, more annoying sticks up the arse." She wasn't sure if this had made sense coming out of her mouth, but it made sense in her head and seemed rather clever, so fuck it. There it was and there it would stand.

"Huh. Pretty badass. My parents specialize in being elitist fuckwads, which is considerably less cool. Ask your dad if he'll teach me how to sword fight and break arms. There's some specific place you hit, huh? And then snap! Broken arm. Fuckin' badass."
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London
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PLAYER | Liz

Re: You. Got. Me. A. WHAT??!!??

Postby Leif Valdemar » Fri Nov 20, 2015 3:00 pm

Admittedly, she had kind of a cute sigh. And a fairly obviously cute snicker. Arrogant Quidditch players should stick to being arrogant and flying rather than being tangentially cute in his vicinity, it made continuing to not like her much harder. There was no question of letting that particular point go and being friendly with Eva, Leif was quite aware that friendship wasn't on the table for this job. Eva had made that much clear very quickly. It wasn't much of a disappointment, people rarely wanted to befriend their bodyguard. It was a lot easier to let someone die for you if you didn't care that much about them.

The words 'magical broom rectum therapy' leapt into his mind, and he actually had to fight from stopping them from leaping forth and being just a generally ridiculous combination. "So what you're telling me that Quidditch players can only fit one stick up their arse at any one time?" That wasn't much better. Ah well, he'd given it a good shot, and he hadn't used the word 'rectum'. Any time you didn't use that word was a victory.

He smiled softly at her request- which had a compliment hidden fairly obviously within it. He hid the smile before she had any chance of seeing it though- he was supposed to be a tough-as-nails bodyguard, not smiling because his drunken charge was being somewhat adorable-adjacent. "I might be able to find some time where he could do that. He's not exactly a soft trainer, though, I'll warn you."
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Re: You. Got. Me. A. WHAT??!!??

Postby Eva O'Hanley » Fri Dec 04, 2015 3:15 pm

Well, this time it wasn't so much a snicker as a drunken guffaw. "Um, well, it's not generally the biggest place ever. Remember, you don't have to have an enormous asshole in order to be an enormous asshole. That's drunken wisdom, right there. Make sure you pass it on to your kids someday." Yep, this conversation had suddenly gotten really crude, which wasn't a problem for Eva. Booze, vulgarity, and dinner with Erik? That was a pretty good night in Eva's book.

A hook-up might have made it even better, but she sure wasn't gonna get with Danny. Especially now that she knew what a damn wuss he was. She'd snapped her femur like six times and never wailed like that.

She didn't pick up on his smile, since he hid it and she was staring at the sidewalk as she struggled to walk a moderately straight line, but she did pick up on the tone of his voice, which was somehow placatory without being condescending. She scoffed. "Who the hell wants a soft trainer? Who would trust a soft trainer? Nah, I'm not gonna trust somebody to make me badass if he's not obviously badass himself. That would be pretty dumb logic, don'tcha think?"

Then something occurred to her, and she grinned. "Holy shit, is that why you're so good at being infuriating? 'Cause your dad's good at it?" This spurred a drunken giggle-fit.
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Holyhead Harpies
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PLAYER | Liz

Re: You. Got. Me. A. WHAT??!!??

Postby Leif Valdemar » Sat Dec 05, 2015 8:42 pm

Okay, her laugh was pretty much as nice as her snicker- loud, and if they had been inside he had no doubt that it would have filled the room. "I will make sure to remember it." If he ever had kids, he would more than likely pass on something of the sort. Probably not worded that way, though, not unless he was drunker than she was now. And he knew that he wasn't exactly the safest of people whilst drunk. Maybe he wasn't safe sober, but it was a controlled kind of dangerous. Uncontrolled danger was a tempest of destruction. For anyone who was stupid enough to fight him, anyway.

"That's fair. I just remember that he had a habit of pushing you just a little further than you would want to go. Sometimes there's a reason for wanting to hold back." Drunken Eva probably wouldn't really care about things like that, and his dad was a good trainer. He would just be a little concerned at the beginning, his dad had a tendency to throw people in the deep end when training. "If being infuriating is hereditary, then some of it must have come from my dad. I think I'm a lot worse than he is, though."
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London
The Berserkers
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Re: You. Got. Me. A. WHAT??!!??

Postby Eva O'Hanley » Sun Dec 06, 2015 2:52 am

"Oh, you should. It's brilliant." Now they were coming up on the little house she shared with her twin, and Eva did a little skip-type thing, pleased to be only five minutes late. It had turned out to be surprisingly helpful to have a sober walking buddy to help her make up the time.

She thought for a moment about Leif's comment about reasons for holding back. Quirking her head to the side, she replied, "Well, I think if it's a proper trainer that you have a lot of trust in, they won't push you farther than you can handle. But past the comfort point? Isn't that where you really start getting better at shit? ... Hell, I dunno. I'm fucking drunk. He sounds awesome, though. And, yeah, I don't think I know anybody as infuriating as you."

At that point, she tugged at his arm, pulling him to a stop on the sidewalk in front of her house. "This is it. I'll make sure to tell Erik you're my obnoxious bodyguard. Don't worry." It had been kind of a nice walk, all told. When he wasn't being actively obnoxious, Leif was kind of amusing and cool. She still didn't want him following her around, but Eva supposed there were worse options as far as bodyguard personalities.
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London
Holyhead Harpies
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AGE
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BLOOD STATUS
Pureblood
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POSTS
56
PLAYER | Liz

Re: You. Got. Me. A. WHAT??!!??

Postby Leif Valdemar » Sun Dec 06, 2015 10:15 pm

Leif decided that it was wiser to let the comment he had about her ego slide away unsaid. She was happy, and they were apparently nearly there, and that was all that really matter. Instead, he just nodded and watched her silently as she skipped. "Sorry. Being a kid warps your memories of some things, and when you're training with weapons at five you start to wonder about whether or not you're quite normal." He'd discovered that the answer was 'no' soon enough, but he was fairly confident that Eva could figure that much out for herself.

"You would have to work pretty hard to be as infuriating as myself. I trained at that, too." They'd finally reached the house, and Eva reassured him again that there would be no misunderstandings with her brother, which was admittedly a relief. He would be as polite as he was able, and he definitely wouldn't bring up the Squib thing. He had the feeling that this assignment would not be dull, and he looked forward to whatever it might bring. "Understood."
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London
The Berserkers
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9/ 3/1977
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5'10
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PLAYER | Starrik

Re: You. Got. Me. A. WHAT??!!??

Postby Eva O'Hanley » Thu Dec 10, 2015 4:36 pm

"Hmmm." She was definitely intrigued by the whole training-with-weapons-at-five thing, but unfortunately there wasn't really time to ask about it. Didn't matter. She'd probably have him following her around for at least another few days. There would be time.

Eva made her way to the door, thrilled that she was only five minutes late.
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London
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BIRTHDAY
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PLAYER | Liz

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